After I lost my angel pup Maddie at the beginning of this year, I started struggling with moving forward. It felt like I froze while life kept spinning around me.
It’s hard admitting that season is over. I miss Madds so much. Sometimes I still break down sobbing like I lost her yesterday.
This week, I took a brave step by letting our “adventure mobile” stroller go.
This silly pink stroller meant Madds could comfortably go on longer walks, come to my gigs, and sneak into grocery stores and restaurants.
She wanted to go everywhere with me, and I was able to make that happen most days.
But for nine months, that stroller has been collecting dust, a sad reminder of what once was.
I wasn’t ready to lose Madds when I did. Nine months later, I wasn’t ready to let her stroller go. I’ve been afraid to move forward because facing the loss is so dang hard.
But I’m forcing myself to move forward. I’m forcing myself to accept the present, to accept that in a year it won’t be any easier to let some of Maddie’s things go, because I’m still just going to wish she was here.
I don’t want to move on, but I have to. Everything else in life has moved forward.
And so… a fluffy tabby named Butters will be exploring Havasu with his new wheels. 😹 I’m glad someone else will get to adventure with their beloved pet, and I hope it enriches their lives like it did mine.
Letting that ridiculous stroller go brought up all the sad feelings in full force. I let myself grieve.
What I’ve found in letting some things go is that the memories are still there.
It wasn’t the “adventure mobile,” it was Maddie’s spirit of adventure that made each day special.
It wasn’t about the sweaters, but the sweetheart who rocked them. And her precious cuddles.
It wasn’t her beds in every room, but the fact that she always wanted to be close. 🥰
Her spunk lives on in my heart, not in her things.
I love you forever, Madds. Thank you for over 10 years of spunky joy.
You’re still my angel baby, and I’ll see you again someday.💛 😭
A song I wrote for Maddie